Monday, August 3, 2009

Criminally Insane

I religiously set my alarm for half an hour earlier than I am actually required to get out of bed, then I re-set for the correct time and snooze. Most mornings this all happens at 5am, because I have to be up and awake for 6am bootcamp, sans eyebrows. I then spend an hour, literally [*winks at Linda*], working my ass off while simultaneously finding the lung capacity to grumble with my fellow campers. I am notorious for having the balance of a toddler, yet have miraculously avoided running tumbles, but have still managed to injure my hip doing all that jogging. I have set up a savings account for my bionic hip, but am hobbling everywhere in the meantime [in high heels to boot, testament to my poor decision making skills].

I live within walking distance from my office, but have only walked to work a handful of times. I blame the century city mist, which is something out of Silent Hill most mornings – one of the area’s major selling points as far as I’m concerned, it’s quite surreal. I do a fair bit of walking everywhere else though, and have threatened to invest in a bright pink tracksuit for laughs – I tried one on once, and Adam nearly herniated his spleen laughing, so I guess that’s a clear indicator that I shouldn’t seriously be thinking about buying one. Hrmph.

If there is a question I am asked, without fail, every single day it’s: “... and exactly what do you do there?” The most successful answer to that question is usually “I run our quality management system! “ However, that’s not strictly speaking true, because that’s the least of my problems, really. I’m responsible for a fair amount of tasks in our office from skills development to customer complaints and maintaining our ISO 9001 certification. I sit on 4 different committees, including the employment equity committee, and I’m responsible for our BEE and ‘transformation’. I really, really, really, really, love my job. I’ve also got the added bonus of having a boss who lets me get on with whatever I’m doing without constantly checking up on me, which I can recommend to anyone!

I studied to be a forensic psychologist, which has bugger all to do with what I do on a daily basis, but means that I’ve an unnatural obsession with mental illnesses, and often spend my lunch hour cruising the bargain book stores for b-grade crime novels... and drinking a Kauai smoothie – I will take this opportunity to whine about the Royal Hawaiian being removed from their menu.

As I’m now corporate goth, I am finally able to afford living on my own, so I get home to a pristine & tidy flat every evening [Yay! Hate dirt. Argh!], and can fine tune my lasagne making and cookie baking skills, often for Adam’s benefit. Mostly I just eat a sandwich and read a book on the couch though – because who really has the bloody energy to cook for just themselves?

I’m also addicted to the internet, and have been since I was about 17, so I spend a lot of time in the evenings online surfing the forums at somethingawful & tdiclub and stalking John Cusack, or doing myself an injury trying to play Super Mario Galaxy for wii. I used to have an actual proper decent computer, and spent an inordinate amount of time honing my lightning gun skillz, but unreal tournament won’t run on this machine... more grumbling.

I won’t tell you what time I usually end up in bed, because it’s embarrassing and the antithesis of rock ‘n’ roll. Suffice it to say I am not fond of the bags under the eyes look, and endeavour to drink plenty of water every day and get more than enough sleep every night!

Oh yes, and magpie-esque hoarding, I do a lot of that.



  1. hell yes, John Cusack is delicious *glossy eyes*

  2. Hehe...yes, all confirmed via e-mail...we all thought about the movie 'Conair'...

  3. I actually watched High Fidelity last night :D

  4. high fidelity is an awesome movie. awesome.